Audacious, yes? I was reading The Weary Blues and my editing brain got triggered by a couple of poems. I’m interested, always by multiple takes on the same topic or subject matter. I looked on these as little writing exercises to help me think about what I was reading, obviously not as MY work or objectively better. In both cases, my version is first, followed by Hughes’s.

My March Moon

The wind has whisked the cloud-clothes

from the body of the moon.

Now she stands, stark naked,

Alabaster,

Hand to hip and hip cocked and winking

as she sighs,

‘O, what a shame.’

March Moon

by Langston Hughes

The moon is naked.

The wind has undressed the moon.

The wind has blown all the cloud-garments

Off the body of the moon

And now she’s naked,

Stark naked.

But why don’t you blush,

O shameless moon?

Don’t you know

It isn’t nice to be naked?

Re-Ardella’d

A starless night, but for your eyes

An empty grasp, but for your hand

A thirsty trek, but for your lips

A dreamless sleep, but for your songs

Ardella

by Langston Hughes

I would liken you

To a night without stars

Were it not for your eyes.

I would liken you

To a sleep without dreams

Were it not for your songs.